I think it has been a while since I wrote, seems like centuries to me.
I went down for my first chemo infusion last Friday. It was January 20th.
I didn't want to go, I felt too week, not strong enough and all of a sudden I was scared. I really didn't have a choice, so we headed down to 13th and Wolf, to Methodist, there was no room for me at Jeff. This was s smaller infusion center, only 10 chairs, not so busy.
I was trying not to cry all the way down and as they infusioned me. They keep asking if I was scared and yes I was. This is a new infusion of drugs, a little different from last time with all sorts of nice side effect. I came home with my pump for two more days and they came to unhook me on Sunday. At that point I was already in bed since Friday, sick as a dog, couldn't keep anything down, just laying in bed feeling sick every second.
By Wednesday, I woke up feeling a little bit hungry, first sign in 5 days, I ate a little but still stayed in bed for the day.
It was about 4 o'clock or so, Clint and I were both in my bedroom, Tina was bringing the boys for a 10 minute visit, as they came into the room, Clint saw my face change completely.
He came to me directly and asked my name, I could not tell him, he kept asking who he was, I could not tell him. Little did I know it but I was having a stroke. He was getting dressed as I lay down in bed, he wanted me to go to the hospital but all I wanted was to be in bed, but I could not talk.
He got me to emergency at Riddle, they took me immediately, I could not have been more thankful for the care I received. My name, the season, my birthday, what year was it (I said 1969!) the doctor just said squeeze my hand like it was 1969. I had a battery of test, all night long.
The next day the neurologist came and spoke with us in the hospital. I did have a stroke, I was there in plenty of time and I have almost every thought back, some words are hard to remember. For some reason they showed me a sign of a cactus, for the life of me I kept saying, you find them in Arizona, but couldn't name them, I think I need to have a cactus in my Voodoo room now!
They kept me until around 3 pm that day and sent me home.
I had my appointment with the oncologist today.
He can't explain it to me, they say some people who have cancer, are more prone to strokes but he said it was not the kind I had.
Who knows? but I can tell you it was the scariest thing I could have gone through. Today I feel tired but a little better. The doctor told me today (kidding, I hope or maybe not) that I was a challenging patient.
I get my second infusion a week from today. I'll take my aspirin every day and at night I ask myself who I am, just in case.
This road has taken so many turns, and the missing of my Dad.
I get so many emails and cards and support and food, I thank each and every one of you. Clint and I have so much to be thankful for, all the love and prayers. We thank you, for your kindness, your sweetness, your prayers and show of support for me as we go through this once again.
Once moment in time. Right now.
(By the way, this took way too long to write, I apologize for any mistake!)
I am an optimistic and happy person.. I would rather see life as exciting and challenging and enjoy every minute than dwell on the negative .. I love to cook and have my family around .. big family dinners and celebrations are always held in my home.. I have a huge table 10 feet long ..filled with food and family.. I have learned many of my mom's old recipes and try to recreate many of the dishes I grew up with .. I am teaching my grandsons to cook .. they love it! I have a wonderful,happy, loving relationship with my husband. He supports me in everything I do and is my biggest fan and taste tester.. he loves all things Italian too!
I love to cook, write, eat and laugh .. I wrote a cookbook in 2004.. the title? LIVE,LAUGH,COOK! what else!