I am borrowing a phrase from Oprah this week to sum up my feeling.
My feeling are overwhelming so I will begin with what I know for sure.
I know for sure that this week flew by... before I knew it Saturday was here. I have had a week of doctors appointments and also daily radiation treatments.
I saw the surgeon on Thursday and also had an examination from the Radiation oncologist ... both in the same day... talk about not wanting to sit down!!! it was not fun. But the truth is I could get a laugh from it which helped tremendously.
I am halfway through this part of my treatment.. down hill from here! 3 more weeks to go~YEA!
I know for sure that I am doing this... I can do this... I still feel good most days.. I still have my sense of humor... I am still eating... I am still cooking.... I am still living my life as best I can while going through this part of my treatment.
I know for sure that all the connections I have made with my clients, many who are friends now... the people who come to my classes, the people who have used my catering services over these past 24 years ...come on my culinary tours...my neighbors, my family, all the people I do business with~ there is a real connection there. So many of you expressed love, support, hope, encouragement, laughter into my life.
I have heard from so many of you, some long letters, others notes or emails... cards, flowers, food in my doorway, candles, plants, stopping by to give me a hug. The support is overwhelming and so much appreciated and yes, needed! It helps ... it really does and I am so thankful.
I know for sure that I wait patiently but also pacing the floor on Saturday mornings when I am scheduled for a disconnect from my chemo pump.
The visiting nurses are so kind but beyond that, they are informative and oh so smart. I am given basic usable information from these nurses. Info I can use, tips that help the day to day issues that arise from these treatments.
This is the hands on, go- to, ask questions type of nursing that is invaluable to me.
The doctors give me worse case scenario, they give me medical facts and sketch out the next year, but it is the nurses who sit down and talk heart to heart. Who will give me a hug when my eyes well up with tears, letting me know what to expect and give me the tools to help the situations that will come up. God Bless these nurses!
I know for sure that I look at every day as a gift, not because I think my life is over but because I know that life is precious. I know that every rain drop, every sunbeam, every flower is a gift.
I don't waste time on wishing how things could be or what was or even looking too far ahead. I live in the now. I live in this moment in time. I try to let go of insecurity, of anger, of anything that may bother me because~ you know what~ it just isn't worth it. All good things will come to me if I choose to see it that way. Life is a lesson in how to live in the moment. HERE~ NOW this is your life! I try to make the most of it.
I know for sure that laughter is the best medicine. When I laugh all is OK. I try to find humor in every day moments. As I lay face down on the radiation table, my whole body draped except my rear end (which is bare and sticking up) I ask the Radiation Techs if they want me to smile!!! Now that is funny. OK maybe only to me but hey-it works!
I know for sure that this will make me stronger, better, it will give me material for my cooking classes, it will give me a year to truly know what is really important to me. It will make me realize just how many people I have inspired to LIVE, LAUGH & COOK!
Flavors of Calabria: Amarelli Licorice
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