The New Me

Although getting chemo regularly was very difficult, one of the hardest things for me to go through was losing my hair.

No matter how you look at it, the constant thinning, the handfuls of hair on the floor, in the sink, on the shower floor was just awful. Waking up with fuzz just sticking out all over was devastating, trying to get the unruly frizz under control was impossible, my hair was different, at some points my hair was non-existent or resembled a bird's nest!

I used mousse, shampoo for frizz, olive oil, at one point even Vaseline didn't control the ends. I had headbands, hats, scarves, clips, bobbie pins~anything I could think of to tame and control my hair.

Those of you who knew me before Cancer know that I had one helluva head of curly, thick, beautiful hair. I never took my hair for granted but loved the fact that it was carefree, with curls I didn't need to even pay attention to.
Rainy days were my friend, I loved my hair!

As I progressed further into my treatment, my hair lost it's luster, it's curl, it's bounce, it became stringy and frizzy.
Waking up in the morning was a scary experience, I would look in the mirror and see my hair standing on edge like I saw a ghost.

These past few months, my hair is starting to gradually come back, but mixed in with the new growth  are the kinky, frizzy hair of chemo.
I was holding on for dear life, afraid to cut it. I haven't had short hair since I was in my 20's~ a long time ago.

This morning I had enough, I wanted to stop patting down my hair, hiding from the mirror, I wanted to look stylish, If I couldn't have my luxurious long curls, I was determined to at least look the best I could.
And so I did it, I went and had all those long stringy ends clipped off, shorter than I have EVER had my hair!! With the promise of new growth and strong hair coming in I made a choice and I am happy with the result.

I am a different person this year, Cancer changed me in so many ways. I am living more in the moment, I am conscious of my happiness in life and doing what I want to do. I am optimistic about my future but not worried because I realize worry does nothing to help any situation. I am letting go and giving myself breathing space to be me, to be happy, to live my life now, with my short hair too!
Hope you like the new me!