I am scheduled for chemo tomorrow. My oncologist gave me off last week again.
I had a tough time. As I said before this chemo is cumulative and each time I get infused it gets worse. I had severe dry heaves, nausea, getting up in the middle of the night to throw up, just awful, violent really. I had tears in my eyes most of the past three weeks. It is hard not to, between having the runs one day, having constipation the next day, that is another thing that just throws you right off. I was dehydrated and the doctor sent 4 bags of fluids, I was re-accessed and I gave myself those fluids. They made me feel a little better but the tiredness and the wanting just to throw up all the time is so taxing.
Yesterday, 3 weeks after chemo I started to feel like myself again, just thinking about things I want to do made me feel better. I had my MRI yesterday, a beautiful day spent downtown in a waiting room for 6 hours. I won't know the results until maybe tomorrow when I go back for my chemo.
I am expecting a miracle. Really I am. This chemo has been so tough it has to be tough on my cancer too, wouldn't you think?
Some days I am down and this is one of them. This is not a joyful blog, it is one of tears, tiredness, and I just want this to be over. It is how I feel, not everyday, but these times when I am waiting for a scan result, it wears on me.
Thank you, everyone for all the support, cards, prayers, thoughts, notes. It really helps me.I appreciate it all.
I am an optimistic and happy person.. I would rather see life as exciting and challenging and enjoy every minute than dwell on the negative .. I love to cook and have my family around .. big family dinners and celebrations are always held in my home.. I have a huge table 10 feet long ..filled with food and family.. I have learned many of my mom's old recipes and try to recreate many of the dishes I grew up with .. I am teaching my grandsons to cook .. they love it! I have a wonderful,happy, loving relationship with my husband. He supports me in everything I do and is my biggest fan and taste tester.. he loves all things Italian too!
I love to cook, write, eat and laugh .. I wrote a cookbook in 2004.. the title? LIVE,LAUGH,COOK! what else!