Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Tough three weeks

I am scheduled for chemo tomorrow. My oncologist gave me off last week again.

I had a tough time. As I said before this chemo is cumulative and each time I get infused it gets worse. I had severe dry heaves, nausea, getting up in the middle of the night to throw up, just awful, violent really. I had tears in my eyes most of the past three weeks. It is hard not to, between having the runs one day, having constipation the next day, that is another thing that just throws you right off. I was dehydrated and the doctor sent 4 bags of fluids, I was re-accessed and I gave myself those fluids. They made me feel a little better but the tiredness and the wanting just to throw up all the time is so taxing.

Yesterday, 3 weeks after chemo I started to feel like myself again, just thinking about things I want to do made me feel better. I had my MRI yesterday, a beautiful day spent downtown in a waiting room for 6 hours. I won't know the results until maybe tomorrow when I go back for my chemo.
I am expecting a miracle. Really I am. This chemo has been so tough it has to be tough on my cancer too, wouldn't you think?

Some days I am down and this is one of them. This is not a joyful blog, it is one of tears, tiredness, and I just want this to be over. It is how I feel, not everyday, but these times when I am waiting for a scan result, it wears on me. 
Thank you, everyone for all the support, cards, prayers, thoughts, notes. It really helps me.I appreciate it all.


  1. Dear Susan
    It has been a while since you heard from me and the journey continues. I had been away from Facebook for quite awhile but would see your posts on the rare occasion I "ckd in". Add me to the long list of supporters as you are will continue to be in my prayers and thoughts.
    Cindy Miller - Best friend of Fran Russel - Holly Russel's mother

  2. Susan - Praying for you and for the wisdom of your doctor. You can do this, just one day at a time. I have groups praying for you in different parts of the country. God will hear all of us, just waiting on His plan.
    Hugs from Maryland.
    Sister of Jeanne Horan who takes your classes.
    -Maryanne Brown

  3. Hello Susan: I pray for you EVERY day and think of you often. I am sorry that it has been so rough on your and I along with you and your family are praying for a miracle. Take care and God bless. Diane Costello, Garnet Valley, PA

  4. You are so often in my thoughts and prayers.
    Robin Minner, Upper Chichester, PA

  5. Susan--you are constantly, always, in my thoughts and prayers. I have your cookbook out on my counter.....makes me smile. Hang in can overcome. Denise