Friday, March 30, 2012


No miracle yet, but I believe.

I just finished watching a movie called "Tangled".
It is a Walt Disney movie based on Rapunzel. I put it on for the kids, their request but I finished watching the movie myself. I couldn't tear myself away.

Of course it started as almost all movies do, the good guys and the bad guys. It was an intriguing story, as the characters worked their way through situation after situation, always trying no matter what.
At the end, as the good guys won and the brightly lit lanterns filled the sky (I can't tell you everything!) It brought tears to my eyes (been emotional lately). I realized that no matter what, no matter the MRI or PT scans or cancer or feeling bad, it was up to me to be happy. Each and every day. It was my choice.

I closed my eyes and thought, none of us know the future, so I might as well be the best I can be even if it is not as I was 2 years ago. I can still be filled with joy as the sun rises and I see a new day, It can make my heart sing to see the flowers of spring bursting all over, I am happy to be surrounded by such a overwhelming show of love and support and prayers. I can say that  I kiss each one of you that send a card, email or anything, I bless you and love you, it helps me every day.

And so for the MRI report.

I went yesterday with high hopes in my heart but not on my face. I was nervous, tired, still not feeling well and not knowing if I could do another chemo.
Clint and I waited in the doctors office for him to come in a read the report.
He came in closed the door and looked utterly perplexed. He said to me" Susan the report indicates that you have had a mixed response to therapy" what this means is that the large tumor that they were targeting with the chemo has responded and shrunk about the size of a dime. It went from 12 cm to 9 cm. BUT, there is always a but, more tumors have pooped up, small but new. HOW CAN THAT HAPPEN??????? while killing one, more show up???

He said he has to think about this and seeing how sick I was he took me off this type of chemo. It is not working he said. He told me he will consult with the other doctors and get back to me by Monday.
I went home tired, scared and relived to tell the truth, at least I have some time to recover and get my spirit and strength back.
This news brought me down yesterday but when I woke up this morning I thought"no one knows the future" I will continue to believe in my miracle and think the best will happen no matter what, I do believe this to be true!!
And so like Tangled I will know that the good guys will win!!!!I am a good guy!!!

1 comment:

  1. Yes you are, without a doubt. Keep the faith, you are an absolute inspiration to many, many folks.