Friday, December 24, 2010


As I get through this holiday season, I am wished a Blessed Christmas. It made me realize how blessed I already am.

I am blessed with a loving and caring husband, who has not left my side during these past months of turmoil, anguish and tears. We are in this together and he gives me strength and hope each day.

I am blessed by a strong and supportive family, who wrap their arms around me and make sure I am OK. My children, daughter in law and son in law, all who would do anything to help me at any time.
My Mom and Dad who are stunned by all of this but help me in any way they can. My sister and brother who are always there for me.

I am blessed with my grandsons, who run to kiss me with open arms each and every time I see them.

I am blessed with clients who have become friends and my friends, this seemingly legion of supporters help me make it through each day, sending me cards, notes, e mails, food, gifts and most importantly prayers and hope.

I am blessed with a comforting home, a view out my bedroom window, an ability to share my thoughts in writing. I am blessed with good doctors and caring professional who try to ease this journey.

I am blessed with all the little things life has to offer each day, a sunrise, a amber streaked sky, a full moon, the sound of the wind and my wind chimes, a bubble bath, a soft pillow, an electric blanket, a warm scarf, a good bowl of soup, these keep me warm in my heart and in my soul.

This Christmas season has been very different for me. It gave me a chance to realize I have so much in  my life already.Yes, I am going through a tough time. It is not easy I will tell you that. I have been drawn to tear so much these past two weeks but I will get better and do what I have to do to get to the other side of this journey, this trip through Cancer. I am strong, I have faith and I also have a sense of humor which saves the day more times than I can count.

I did hear from the Liver Surgeon last night at 5:15, long after I gave up hope that he would call me with the results of the MRI before the holiday.

The news was not what I was hoping for. He said that although I was reacting wonderful to the chemo, I still have some "spots" on my liver that will benefit from more chemo. He wants me to have at least 3 more months of chemo before we even talk about the operations. He was brief and I was taken by surprise because just last week he told me my results were dramatic and he thought that he could just cut out the remaining spot which has now turns into spots according to this latest MRI. This is how it goes, up and down and around and around, everything changes in an instant.

Although this is NOT what I wanted to hear especially in the days before Christmas, it is what it is and after I did my crying I realized that I will do what I have to do to get better. If more chemo is the answer then that is what I will do.

And so I am blessed, I am blessed with the will and strength to get through this, I am blessed with family and friends who will see me through these next few months. I am blessed with an ability to turn these feeling of sadness around and be happy to have the care of good doctors and the love of so many people.

I am blessed to be able to enjoy this holiday with my family around me, cooking for me and wrapping me in their love.

I know this is a very busy day, time is scarce but take a minute to count your blessings, it is much more fun than counting presents under the tree. You are blessed in so many ways, take a minute to realize that life is all about family, friends and love and acceptance.

I wish you a Blessed Christmas filled with love and laughter and good food and many many blessing!


1 comment:

  1. Susan, I am so sorry you have to continue on the chemo, but be assured my prayers continue for you every single day - tonight at mass I'll be praying for complete disappearance of every single one of those spots.

    God bless you and yours during this Holiday season....