It is all we have really, all of us have this moment in time-nothing else.
I always made this thought a big one when I taught my cooking classes but it has now taken on a new meaning.
Lots of little things have changed in my life along with the big things. I find myself asking how each thought will effect me and if is it negative I delete it, somewhat like the delete button on your computer! I have also fine tuned this practice to include"empty trash" too! I don't want that negative thought back so I make sure to really get rid of it! Guess what? it works! Try it... next time you have any negative thoughts use the words"Cancel Cancel" or Delete and then empty the trash can of your mind~ get rid of any thought that does not serve you in a good way~ you will be surprised at how much this works!
I had my second infusion yesterday and true to form I was in a wonderful mood. How can that be you ask? Well I decided that I can go through all of this in the way that I chose to. I can't change what I have to go through although I have to say that every once in a while I am tempted to drive to the airport and hop a plane to Rome or Seattle instead of heading down to Jeff for my treatment. It is a fleeting idea but one that I can smile at and know that I'd be better off going to Jeff at this time in my life. I'll get back to Rome and to Seattle and to everything that makes me happy soon.
We went down for 8AM appointment. Crowded as usual but I was taken in a timely manner. Blood was drawn and sent down to the lab, I was weighed. This is really funny because I always profess not to have a scale at home and whenever I would go the doctor's office and they asked if I wanted to get weighed I said NO!!! It was never my favorite thing to do and I always say that you know if you gained or lost weight~ your cloths tell you that! so that number never had any meaning to me. Now I have the pleasure of getting weighed every week whether I like it or not! My weight has been steady, I am doing OK ... must be all that good food everyone is leaving on my doorstep~Thank you for that!
My chemo doctor went over all my side effects last Wednesday and prescribed some antidotes for them.... oh goody more drugs! but I have to say they helped. Magic mouthwash for the mouth sores, Emend, a very expensive drug for nausea to be taken with the chemo along with the other anti nausea meds they gave me. These drugs do not take away the symptoms ... just make it easier to live with them. They are working.
It was a long day yesterday we came home by 7PM, tired, grumpy and hungry and with a chemo bag hanging on me for the next two days. Dinner on my doorstep along with flowers! I have the best friends, neighbors, clients and family!!!
This morning, waking up to a rainy and stormy day allowed me to stay in bed without guilt! It is a perfect day to stay under the covers and that is what I did, but always being a busy person I felt the need to get up and do something!!! I do it in slow motion... no more rushing around for me.
I am taking one day at a time, one minute at a time and you know what~ it is a wonderful way to live. Now I am not saying not to make plans for the future.. I am a big goals person too but just take a moment to listen to the sounds around you, the rustling of leaves, the pitter-patter of rain drops, the singing birds outside your window. Tune into life.. it is all around you. We live in such a busy world we sometimes forget to pay attention to the small things that make up our daily life. We take so much for granted. Our health, our family, our home~ take a minute to be thankful everyday for what you do have and what you know! These thoughts will enrich your life and allow you to realize what you do have ... probably everything you need!!!
So I went through this second infusion with a thankfulness that I am getting better and that this high- tech medicine is available to me and that I am surrounded by love and white healing light and family and friends and so much support it is humbling and overwhelming... two word I have been using a lot.
I feel OK. Not 100% but with all those drugs in me what can I expect? I will rest and take good care of myself and day dream of Rome and Seattle and all the place I want to visit when I get back to being my energetic self!
Thank you for all your prayers and wishes, e mails, cards, flowers, thoughts and love. I feel it everyday and it makes me so very happy!!!!!
I am an optimistic and happy person.. I would rather see life as exciting and challenging and enjoy every minute than dwell on the negative .. I love to cook and have my family around .. big family dinners and celebrations are always held in my home.. I have a huge table 10 feet long ..filled with food and family.. I have learned many of my mom's old recipes and try to recreate many of the dishes I grew up with .. I am teaching my grandsons to cook .. they love it! I have a wonderful,happy, loving relationship with my husband. He supports me in everything I do and is my biggest fan and taste tester.. he loves all things Italian too!
I love to cook, write, eat and laugh .. I wrote a cookbook in 2004.. the title? LIVE,LAUGH,COOK! what else!