Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Sleeping Beauty

That is who I feel like.. I had no idea I could sleep that much!

Thursday loomed with every side effect I could possibly have along with the feeling of tired tired tired... no other way to describe it.

I feel dis~ease, mal~testa,(sick in the head like my dad says) sick sick sick ... I can't drag myself out of bed, nausea, upset, yucky, chills, hot flashes, mouth sores. Now I don't want to depress you or me so I'll stop with the descriptions now but I think you get the feeling.

I took all the medicine the Dr gave me for side effects and I got more side effects! whoopee!

Another thing that scared me to death is my hair.. my long beautiful salt and pepper curls .. coming out in globs!!!! My first clue was finding little fluffs of my hair in the corners of my rooms... I looked down and thought "what the heck is that" on further examination I realized the colors of these hair balls were black and white. Now I don't have a cat or a dog .. just birds and these definitely were NOT feathers... my hair!!!OH NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I guess I'd better start looking for big hoop earrings and maybe some sexy(???) scarfs? a wig?? I don't even like to wear a hat! how the heck am I going to put on a wig!!! I wake up in the morning and the first thing I do is check to see how much hair is on my pillow. I am afraid to touch my hair less it comes out faster! gotta find the lesson in this~ any suggestions???

Chemo fog is the right description for how I feel .. like I am in San Francisco on the Golden gate bridge ( I wish) in the middle of a heavy fog. No clue to what is happening to my brain but hope it clears up soon!

When I first thought of writing this blog I wanted to cancel cancel..Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday and maybe Monday but then I thought oh no~ that is still my life.. I can't cancel those days !
I slept through them anyway! glad my bed is cozy!
So this is my update... hope I feel better soon and don't wake up looking like Don Rickles with a shiny head.

Any encouragement is welcome!!!!


  1. Just keep coming here and venting away, Susan! If having a few ears to listen (or in this case eyes to read) to how your days are makes even one hour a bit easier to for you to cope with, then those of us out here in cyberland are doing our jobs....

    I am just so very sorry you are dealing with all of this extra crap that goes along with chemo..... We did take a chance on that Mercedes at Our Lady Star of the Sea this past weekend..... some stiff competition for ya :)

  2. I think I'd like the big hoop and scarf look for you! You have such a gorgeous face and great style...you'd rock it out for sure! I hope all of your yucky sick days are soon behind you soon. Love and hugs!

  3. Oh Susan....I was thinking of you this weekend when i read this quote from John Cheever from "Monty Python'. I thought you would get a kick out of it.

    "My veins are filled, once a week with a Neapolitan carpet cleaner distilled from the Adriatic and I am as bald as an egg. However I still get around and am mean to cats." ~John Cheever, letter to Philip Roth, 10 May 1982,

    It is amazing that you are able to keep your sense of humor feeling this dreadful. You are one strong, brave woman. Keep the faith...this too shall pass.

    ps..my friend Cindy who has breast cancer and having chemo just got a blond, short hair wig and looks fabulous in it. I am not sure blond would be your look.. but maybe vixen red???!!!

    pss so sorry I missed the benefit...was visiting my grandkids..but I heard it was just wonderful. What terrific kids you have!

  4. Your wonderful attitude makes you very SEXY!!! Here's to being a fashionista! But on a very serious note, the side effects sound so crappy...so just keep on venting. That's just another side effect. I admire you so much.

  5. Denise Maggetti NowakOctober 6, 2010 at 11:00 AM

    Susan - your hair was always merely a frame to your big beautiful smile! It will grow back and you will look great in any thing you wear...or don't!

  6. Susan, stay strong! I know how beyond rotten it all is. You are beautiful inside and out.

  7. Susan - You are probably the strongest person I know.....keep finding humor in your situation and you will come out on the other side of this like wonder woman !!!! Love you, Emily B

  8. Dearest Susan~
    I'm still out west (home tomorrow night) but have been keeping tabs via your wonderful blog. I am looking into my own crystal ball and definitely see you with the gypsy look--exotique, mysterious and fun! Paisley scarves and yes, those big, hoop earrings. Listen to Willie Nelson's version of "Golden Earrings" for some inspiration. Losing one's hair is adding insult to injury for sure, my dear, but it does grow back and it's one of many prices you are paying to regain your health. Thank heaven, your joie de vivre and sense of humor do prevail! Love, love, love from your fan, Fran

  9. Susan, I have soo much respect for you. You have always lit up a room with that smile. Hey, if your head has a nice shape don't worry about the hair. How many times have you heard women complain about their hair?! You will look beautiful anyway it makes you happy! Maybe a nice size pair of diamonds?