Saturday, April 2, 2011

An Anniversary

This was not an anniversary I expected to have.

On April 6, 2010 I was diagnosed with Colon Rectal Cancer. A huge surprise to be sure.  I first heard the news and made all my doctors appointments, the course of treatment was 6 weeks of chemo and radiation daily followed by an operation to remove the tumor. I thought to myself OK~ I'll be done all this by November and then I can resume my life.

I was in for a big surprise. Nothing is like you expect it to be and Cancer is not predicable. I found that out!
After undergoing the treatment and then having more test low and behold it had metathesized to my liver. Another course of treatment was prescribed.
This time 12 of a more serious combination of drugs given every other week, if I could tolerate it. Some weeks I did OK others times I was violently ill. This treatment took 7 months for me complete, along with it came various side effects, some of which I am still experiencing.

I lost my hair but not my sense of humor. I blogged weekly to keep in touch with family, friends and clients. I learned that the power of prayer does work. I learned that I have so many people in my life that care about me. I learned that I am strong and that I need to live my life no matter what happens. I learned that this Cancer can happen to anyone, no matter how healthy you think you are. I learned to take care of myself and take life minute by minute. My life was not on hold as I first thought. I was still living whether I was sick or not.

I had so much support this past year and every wish, thought, prayer was helping me. Keeping in touch with so many people was a blessing I will never forget. I saved each and every card and all the emails that I received this past year. It is a reminder to me of all the positive energy that came my way. I am so grateful for what I have in my life. I realize that I am not alone and I don't think I would have been able to do this if not for the support of my family and friends and clients.

I learned to be grateful for what I did have in my life and try not to dwell on"why me?" or "how the hell did this happen?" There are no answers to those thoughts and they do no good. I am an optimistic person and I rather laugh and smile than cry~who wouldn't? Not to say that I didn't have my breakdowns, I did. They also taught me a lesson. It is OK to cry and be sad and wish this never happened but I always bounced back to me again. I am thankful for that too!

So as I look back on this past year, I realize that I am still here, I am still fighting, but I am living my life too. This is not going to go away. The surgeon and the oncologist both said that they will be checking on me my whole life. I am a fighter and a survivor and so I know I will do this, no matter what comes my way I will handle it, hopefully with grace and humor and strength.

So I thank each and every one of you for all your support, prayers, gifts, flowers, love, hugs, kisses and for being there for me. You are on this journey along with me and I hope we can both learn from each other.

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