Sunday, February 6, 2011

A Few Lessons

I am living with this disease called CANCER. It is with me every waking hour and in my dreams at night. No matter what I try to do to love each day simply and without worry, the idea, the thought, the presence of this disease is felt every day.

I try to look at the positive. I try to strive to enjoy each day. Most times I am successful but there are times when no amount of positive thinking will take this away.

As with everything in my life I try to see what I can learn from this experience. I am not sure if this ever happened to you, I think it may have. You are driving along in your car, not in any particular hurry and you get behind someone so slow, you could probably get out of the car and walk to where you are going faster then being behind this slow driver. When this happens to me I ask myself" What am I suppose learn from this?" Take my time, go slower, look around me, don't be so in a rush for life to pass me by?

I look for the lesson, I look at what can be a frustrating experience and try to make it pleasant, or at least take something way from it that will help me not make me more crazy or mad or stressed out.

So I am looking at this journey I am on. Certainly not one I would pick as as a lesson, but here I am non- the-less. What am I learning? what is this teaching me? if I can keep my ears, eyes, and heart open I am sure to come out of this with some important life lessons.

Here is a little bit of what I learned along the way these past 10 months.

~It is OK to feel bad on any given day for no reason
~My family will support and surround me with love~ always
~Each day is a gift, one to use as I chose
~I love the sound of laughter
~I am surrounded by so many wonderful people
~I learned that people pray
~I have a wonderful and supportive son-in law and daughter in-law
~My body is resilient
~To breath
~To relax
~To stay calm
~Sunshine is important
~Tears are OK
~Strength is in the little things
~A smile can change my mood
~I am stronger than I thought
~I love my cooking classes
~Hugs from my grandsons can heal my heart
~I need to balance the drugs with something gentle like massage and meditaiton
~Quiet time is essential
~My children are special and support me with unconditional love
~I have created what I now have in my life
~My husband is a rock on which I can lean on at any time
~I feel the love of my clients and friends~EVERYDAY!
~This is just part of my life... more to come
~I will be stronger because of this journey
~People are so kind, thoughtful & generous

The most important thing I have learned so far is that I am not alone, I am surrounded by love and support and encouragement. These are the things that get me through the hard days, the days when the tears come for no apparent reason. The days when I feel alone and scared, when I let myself think of what exactly it is I am going through. The days of fear. They are not the norm, most times I am doing just fine but every once in a while I will wake up sad, confused and scared and these life lessons get me through that time.

So many of you have told me that you are following this blog and that it is uplifting, I am so very happy about that. I love to write and it is what get me through these confusing and difficult times. It is a barometer for my hopes and dreams. It is what I go back to, it allows me to see a pattern, this course I am on. It allows me to see my strengths and know I can do this and it is a temporary part of my life.

I am so very thankful for everyone that is on this journey with me, to keep me company and let me know they are cheering for me and that I am not alone.

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